Sunday, March 28, 2010

The Choices We Make

I was out drinking with Gabriel the other night, and we got into this discussion of why I was involved with Samael. It's a legitimate question, given the awful things my ex-lover's done.

So why would I choose to be in a relationship with an angel who has no compunction about killing innocent people for his own pleasure? Simple. He wasn't always this way. When I first met him, he was intelligent, charming, and perhaps a bit self-deprecating. In our line of work, you can't take yourself too seriously.

But that's what he did. Took himself seriously. Samael's not only an angel of death, he's also the chief of satans. And he's one of the subordinates under Metatron, along with Gabriel. (Come to think of it, Gabriel takes himself too seriously, too, sometimes. Must be a workplace hazard.)

Let me clarify. Metatron's like our superior, and Samael and Gabriel are chiefs under him. The rest of we angels of death work for either Samael or Gabriel, and we report to them, unless Metatron requests otherwise. It was Metatron who ordered me to kill Karla and then bring her to him. Think Samael was happy about that? Hell, no.

But I digress. Okay, back to why I had a relationship with a guy with an attitude and a poisonous rapier. I wasn't desperate, if that's what you're thinking. Like I mentioned above, he had a lot of good qualities about him. Still does, really, even if they're buried beneath his anger.

I think that's it. He became so angry and hateful toward humans, and he could never understand why I liked people. See, I'm a Grigori, one of the Watchers who came to earth. I taught the course of the moon. (Shakes head.) Can't believe that was forbidden knowledge. And yes, I paid dearly for it. Although Samael's curse is lifted, the Seraphim's still exist.

Ever watch someone slowly destroy their life and there's nothing you can do about it? Yeah, that's pretty much what's happened to Samael. I only hope if the Seraphim punish him for his actions, they don't punish him too severely. I don't think his psyche can take it.

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